


Moments

by ciitadel



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: A lot of Keith angst, Angst, Canon Compliant, Galra Keith (Voltron), I really love Keith okay, Keith-Centric, and the time he found out he was part galra, and then when he was the new leader of voltron, can be interpreted as klance if ya want, canon-verse, gen - Freeform, he's ma boy, includes the time keith got kicked out of the garrison, really just a bit of a character analysis on keithy boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 13:19:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12133347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ciitadel/pseuds/ciitadel
Summary: Everyone has a series of defining moments in their life, moments where things change from how they once were to something new entirely.Keith has had a lot of these moments. These are just a few.





	1. To Live Without a Lifeline

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! So I decided I wanted to explore Keith's character a little bit more and it turned into way more than I intended lol, but I had a lot of fun writing this. Either way, I hope you guys like this random bit of Keith exploration!

It was overcast the day Keith heard the news. 

That was one detail that always stuck out in his memory. Keith remembered the swirling mass of white clouds that covered the sky like an ocean, the air heavy with a humidity that was so unlike the usual dryness of the desert. It was impossible to see even the tiniest shred of blue amidst that white sea, impossible to see any hint of the stars that lay beyond. 

It was lunch time, and Keith was eating in his usual corner of the cafeteria, tuning out the constant, inescapable hum of conversation from the other students. He mechanically scooped the near-tasteless food into his mouth, thinking only of how much time he had left until his next class. 

Ever since Shiro had left on the Kerberos mission, Keith had fallen into a sort of auto-pilot at school. He did his work, trained in both the gym and flight simulators, and went to bed. Before Shiro left, he would make him go out and do things with him (and sometimes Matt) on weekends, make sure to get him out of the Garrison. Now, without the man who had basically become an older brother to him here, Keith hardly talked to anyone. It wasn’t that he was too shy to talk to anyone else; it was simply that he didn’t want to. He preferred the solace of his thoughts to the trials and tribulations of human socialization. 

Occasionally, though, on weekends when he had free time, Keith would take his hoverbike and ride out into the desert, reveling in his solitude among the orange and red canyons. He’d ride out for miles, until the sun was high in the sky, and then just explore the cliff faces and numerous caverns. Then, once the sun began to dip below the horizon, he’d ride back. 

Keith was a loner, and he accepted that. He preferred it that way—preferred being surrounded by the vast nothingness of the desert than the vast everything of people. 

A loud crash from the cafeteria doors jarred Keith from his thoughts, and he glanced up to see a fellow cadet breathing heavily, her eyes wide as she looked around the room. 

“Guys! Come quick! Something went wrong with the Kerberos mission!” she shouted. There was only a moment's hesitation before everyone in the cafeteria was on their feet and rushing to the doors to get to the rec room (one of the few places cadets could access that had a TV). 

Keith meanwhile, froze in his seat, and felt his stomach drop. Something went wrong? What the hell did that mean? Had there been an error, and they had to turn back? Were they unable to get the samples? Or worse, had something life-threatening happened? Was anyone hurt?

Was Shiro hurt? 

Leaping to his feet, Keith abandoned his lunch as he pushed through the throng of students, all of them clambering to get to the rec room as they bottlenecked the door. Forgetting courtesy, Keith shoved his way past the other kids, determined to find out what that girl had meant. 

It took a lot of squeezing and cursing, but eventually Keith made it. A crowd of kids was already gathered around the TV, and Keith shouldered through his peers until he was able to see the news report broadcasting on the screen. 

As Keith read the words that flashed across the bottom of the TV—right underneath three photos of Shiro, Sam, and Matt—he felt his breath hitch and his heart plummet. 

**Kerberos Mission Disappears: Suspected Pilot Error**

No. No, that was impossible. They couldn’t have disappeared. Shiro was one of the best pilots Keith knew; there’s no way he could’ve caused the mission to fail. 

There was no way he could be gone. 

“Cadets! What are you all doing here?” an officer shouted. Most of the kids immediately turned and saluted their superior, but Keith’s eyes remained transfixed to the screen. 

“We were looking at the news report on the Kerberos Mission, sir!” one cadet answered. 

“You will be briefed on the events of the Kerberos mission in your next class. Now, stop crowding around the TV and get back to the mess hall,” the officer ordered. 

“Yes, sir!” the cadets answered in varying succession. Keith didn’t respond, however; he could only stay staring at the screen. 

He couldn’t accept this. It wasn’t true. Shiro wasn’t gone—he couldn’t be. 

He couldn’t lose someone else close to him.

“Cadet! What did I just say?” the officer barked, grabbing Keith’s shoulder and forcefully turning him around. Keith didn’t respond, his fist clenching and unclenching as anger began to boil inside of him. 

Of course they’d blame it on Shiro. This could’ve been caused by anything: technological error, a rogue asteroid, even goddamn aliens. Keith refused to believe it was pilot error. 

“Kogane! Do I have to repeat myself?”

Keith grit his teeth and looked up from the ground, staring the officer in the eye. Now that he was paying attention, he recognized the man as Commander Iverson himself. “I would like to know more about the ‘pilot error,’ _sir_.” Keith practically spat the final word.

“Like I said, _cadet_ , you’ll learn about it in your next class.” Iverson scowled and leaned down close to Keith’s face. “But if you absolutely _must_ know now, the report you will read in your next class says that Takashi Shirogane made a fatal error with his piloting.”

The words ‘fatal error’ had barely registered in his mind before Keith was stepping forward, grabbing Iverson by his lapels and pulling him closer to his face. 

“You’re lying! Shiro was the best goddamn pilot in the entire Garrison! There’s no way it was pilot error!” Keith hissed, rage and adrenaline rushing through his veins. His thoughts were a swirling vortex of anger and disbelief, his mind doing anything to keep the weight of his grief from crushing him. 

“ _Get your hands off me, cadet_.” Iverson’s voice had gone dangerously low, and Keith could feel the weight of the other student’s eyes boring down on them; he held Iverson’s stone-cold gaze for one more moment before letting go of the man’s lapels and taking a step back. “I suggest you leave before I suspend you for attacking your commanding officer.”

Keith glared at Iverson, not wanting to back down from the look in his eyes that was just _daring_ Keith to fight him. 

But then he thought of Shiro, and what he would think if he could see him now. 

Slowly, as if his feet were made of lead, Keith turned around to leave the room. 

He had made it all of three steps when Iverson decided to speak again. 

“I don’t know what that good-for-nothing pilot Shirogane saw in you, taking you under his wing like he did. But then again, I suppose failures attract.”

And just as quickly as the boiling in his blood had calmed, Keith’s rage spiked yet again. Turning on his heel, he marched back to Iverson, hands clenching as he scowled at the commanding officer’s smug expression. 

Next thing he knew, his fist was flying toward Iverson’s face. 

Keith squeezed his eyes shut, preparing himself for the feeling of his fist meeting Iverson’s face, but it never came. Instead, he felt his hand hit something else, and when he opened his eyes he was greeted with the sight of Iverson calmly holding his fist in his own hand. 

If looks could kill, Iverson would’ve been dead where he stood. Keith put every ounce of rage he had into his glare. However, Iverson glared right back at him, the seething anger obvious beneath his calm exterior, like an active volcano just waiting to explode. 

Keith refused to shrink back in fear—instead, he straightened up, and Iverson let go of his fist. Keith brushed himself off, his overwhelming rage beginning to die down with his failed punch. 

“Pack your bags, Kogane. You’ve been expelled.” Iverson said this with his usual poker face, but Keith could see the satisfaction in his eyes. He was obviously glad to have gotten a rise out of him. 

Keith, meanwhile, didn’t really care all that much. He was still numb to everything besides the heat and adrenaline rushing through his veins, and soon found himself moving on autopilot as he walked out of the room, ignoring everyone else's stares. 

It didn’t take long for him to gather his rather meager belongings from his room. He hadn’t entered the Garrison with much more than the clothes on his back, the hoverbike he had inherited, and the dagger his father had given him, and so he didn’t leave with much more than that. 

Students gawked as he walked down the halls of the school, all of them openly gaping at the kid who had tried to punch Iverson in the face. Sure, he’d failed, but the fact was that he had tried. Did they fear him? Did they respect him? Keith didn’t know, but that wasn’t really his concern right now. 

No one was waiting for him at his hoverbike. He wasn’t sure if he’d expected them to try to stop him from leaving, or what. The Garrison was the one kicking him out, but damn if he wasn’t at least slightly relieved to not have to be there anymore. Already it was reminding him too much of the way things were before, back when Shiro was still around. He didn’t need those memories weighing on him every single day at school. 

The guard at the gate said nothing as Keith rode out, just glanced up for a brief moment before looking back down at the novel in his lap. 

It was midday, and the landscape before him, the orange cliffs and brown rocks, seemed more vibrant than usual beneath the mass of clouds that covered the sky. Keith had no idea where he was going, but he let his instincts lead the way. For all he knew, there could be nothing out in the desert. He could be driving himself to his death—but something was telling him to just go. Don’t look back, don’t question where to go, don’t think about Kerberos. Just drive. 

And drive, he did. 

It was nearly nightfall by the time Keith found the shack that would later become his home. The clouds in the sky had darkened, and the warm desert air had begun to take on a cooler tinge. Pulling up to the small house, it was easy to see if had been abandoned for months, if not years, as evidenced by the peeling walls and dust-coated windows. 

A quick check inside confirmed his suspicions, and despite the thick layer of dust coating everything in the house, things seemed to be in mostly-liveable condition. After finding a map inside the drawer of the bedside table in the house, Keith figured out there was a small town not too far from where he was. Maybe, just _maybe_ , this wouldn’t be such a bad place to hole up for a while. At least until he figured out what he was going to do, now that he had nowhere to live. 

Later, after cleaning off as much of the dust and grime as he could, Keith stepped outside into the cool night air. And for the first time since his altercation with Iverson, he finally had a moment to process what had happened. 

Shiro was gone. The Kerberos mission had disappeared, and Shiro, Sam, and Matt were all presumed dead. Tilting his head up, Keith went to look at the stars, but only found the dark covering of clouds. Shiro could be out there somewhere, out among the distant stars and planets. 

But he was probably dead. 

Either way, unless some miracle occurred, Keith was never going to see Shiro again. His best friend, the closest thing he’d had to a family member since his father died, was gone. Lost among the stars and stardust, floating aimlessly in the emptiness of space, far beyond where Keith could ever reach. 

It was like a curse. Everyone Keith cared for would eventually slip away from his grasp, like water running through his fingers. First it was his mother, then his father, and now Shiro. It was an inevitably in the life of Keith Kogane, and he couldn’t do anything about it except deal with the hurt over and over again. 

Sighing, Keith ran a hand through his hair, glancing to his feet before turning his gaze back to the invisible stars once more. He wanted to be angry about this—he wanted to have something to direct his anger toward, something to blame for his loss—but he just couldn’t. He had spent all of his anger back at the Garrison, and was now left with only numbing grief. 

Keith let out a slow, shuddering breath. He was tired, both emotionally and physically. He needed sleep. Sure, he could stand out here and stare at the stars, praying for answers that would never come… or he could go inside and try to rest. Tomorrow he was going to have a whole slew of problems to deal with (like the issue of food and water), and it would do him well to be well-rested. 

He went back inside the shack and laid down on the filthy and thin mattress. If he was going to be staying here, he’d definitely need to get a better bed. That much was certain. 

It felt like hours that he stared at the ceiling of the shack, his mind swirling and racing with memories of Shiro. Later on, these turned to memories of his father, and then to what his father had told him of his mother. They said it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, but Keith began to think that was a lie. It hurt to lose someone, and he had done it three times now. Either way, though, he had to keep pushing through, like he always did. Just keep going. Work though it. 

By some miracle—perhaps with the blessing of some powerful and merciful deity—eventually, Keith managed to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is taken from the song: 'Earth' by Sleeping at Last
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed! Make sure to leave a comment if you did!
> 
> My tumblr: zarkondoms.tumblr.com


	2. I don't know who I am, but now I know who I'm not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place after the Blade of Marmora ep in s2
> 
> Keith is thinking over his feelings on discovering that he's part Galra

_“If you go through that door, you’ll never find out who you are.”_

The last words his father said to him continued to reverberate through Keith’s head long after he heard them. It had been hours since they'd left the Blade of Marmora’s base, and after a short stint in the cryopod to heal his injuries from the trials, he finally had a moment to himself.

Telling the team about his newfound heritage had been… nerve-wracking, to say the least. 

At Keith’s request, Shiro had been the one to explain the trials and the activating of the Marmora Blade. Shiro told them everything, ending with the part about Keith having Galra blood running through his veins, with Keith standing quietly behind him all the while. 

Most of the paladins’ reactions had been rather nonchalant. Pidge was obviously thrilled about the whole thing, jumping up and down as she babbled on about the experiments she could now run on Keith to learn more information about Galra anatomy. Hunk was kind, patting Keith on the shoulder and cracking a joke about him being purple. Lance didn’t seem to really care, shrugging and commenting that him being part alien was still no excuse to have a mullet. 

However, the Alteans reacted a bit differently. 

Coran stared at Keith for a long, hard moment, and asked him if he had ever suspected he might be part Galra before. When Keith explained how he’d only recently begun to consider the possibility, and how he had grown up on Earth his whole life and had no clue aliens even existed before Voltron, Coran had sighed and nodded his head in quiet acceptance, before commenting that he was surprised the cryopod scanners hadn’t picked up on it before. And that had been that. 

Allura… Allura didn’t say anything. She kept her gaze locked onto her feet, her hands simply folded in front of her. When Shiro asked if she was okay, she gave a sharp reply that she was fine, before storming out of the room. 

After the moment of awkward silence that followed, Coran had reassured Keith that Allura just needed time to process things, but Keith hadn’t been so sure. Soon, everyone had retired to their rooms for the night, leaving Keith alone as he was now. 

He wondered if he should have suspected it sooner. He’d never known much about his heritage, but from his father’s vague comments about his mother, he should’ve known something was amiss. Whenever he had asked his father where his mother was, he’d always point up toward the night sky, saying she lived among the stars. Keith had always thought this was a gentle euphemism for her being dead, but he was now coming to the realization that this was probably more literal than he once thought. 

Still, Keith wished he could know more. 

Was his mother Galra? Or was she only part Galra? Did she grow up on Earth, or had she grown up in the Empire? If she hadn’t grown up on Earth, what led her to the planet? 

Questions, questions, questions. That’s all he had right now: questions without answers.

The thing was, he’d given up the chance to know who he was. He didn’t regret this decision; there were people who needed him and he’d made the choice to leave of his own will. But the questions still dug at him, a mental thorn in his side. 

If someone were to ask who he was, he would say he was Keith Kogane, paladin of Voltron. But besides that, what could he tell them? Keith Kogane was an enigma, a mystery even to himself. He was a series of was and was-nots. He was from Earth, and he wasn’t fully human. He was an orphan, and he wasn’t aware of who exactly his parents were. He was a paladin of Voltron, and he wasn’t sure of who he was, or rather, where he came from. 

Either way, there was nothing he could do about it for now. Maybe one day, after Voltron ended, he could go out in search of the side of his family that lived in the stars, just like his father told him. But for right now, he had to stay and do his part in defeating Zarkon. 

Keith gripped the handle of his knife—the one that had caused all this chaos with the Blade in the first place—and ran his hand along the smooth, dark edge. Leaning back onto his bed, he held the knife above him, as if just looking at it could somehow give him the answers he so desperately sought out. 

Suddenly, a knock at his door had him sitting back up. His hand moved on instinct to hide the knife under his pillow, but he forced himself to keep it where it was. Everyone already knew he was part Galra; what was the point in hiding the evidence?

“Yeah? Who is it?” Keith called out. 

“It’s Shiro. Can I come in?”

Keith hesitated for a moment before nodding, despite Shiro not being able to see him. “Yeah, sure.”

The metal door slid open with a hiss, and Keith saw Shiro standing there, his expression tight with poorly-masked worry. He stepped inside the room, and when he just hovered awkwardly by the wall, Keith gestured for him to sit down beside him on the edge of the bed. 

It was quiet for a moment, Keith fiddling with his knife and Shiro fiddling with the fingers of his prosthetic. Keith could hear the soft hum of the Castle’s engines reverberating around him.

“How are you holding up? After today and all?” Shiro asked, glancing up from his hand to look at Keith.

Keith stopped running his thumb along the curve of the blade (an old habit he would revert back to anytime he was feeling nervous or needed something to do with his hands) but didn’t look up to meet Shiro’s gaze. “I feel fine. The cryopod heals everything, you know that,” he said, twirling the knife between his fingers.

Shiro nodded once, pursing his lips. “Yeah, I know that. I was talking about how you were doing with… well, with everything we learned from the Blade.”

Keith kept his gaze trained on his lap, twirling the knife in a repetitive motion similar to that of a metronome. Over and over and over again, the dark metal of the knife glinting against the bright lights of Keith’s room. 

“…I’m fine,” he answered.

Shiro’s brows furrowed. “Really?” he asked dubiously. The spinning of the blade stopped, and Keith finally glanced up to meet Shiro’s concerned gaze. 

He and Shiro both knew he wasn’t fine. His head was a disjointed mess of mixed emotions and questions and just overall confusion. He wanted to lash out in anger, wanted to fly back to the Marmora base and demand answers, wanted to scream into a pillow until he could get rid of this pent up need to know _something_.

Sighing, Keith put the knife down beside him on the bed and turned to face Shiro. “No, I’m not fine. I just found out I’m part alien. And not only am I part alien, but I’m part of the species that we are _literally at war with_. I’m…” He paused and groaned, running his hands through his hair. “I’m kinda stressed.”

Keith was quiet for another moment, before covering his face with his hands. “I just wish I’d been able to find out more,” he mumbled between his fingers.

Shiro reached out and patted his back comfortingly. “I’m sorry, Keith. I wish we’d been able to find out more, too. But don’t think this means you’re never going to get to learn more about your family. When we’re all done with Voltron I’ll help you look for them.”

Keith glanced up in surprise, and saw that his friend had a soft smile on his face. 

“Really?” he asked, voice low. “That… that would mean a lot to me, Shiro. But you don’t have to do that—” 

“No, no arguing. I’m going to help you because I want to, and because I don’t want you wandering the universe by yourself in case something goes wrong,” Shiro said, cutting him off.

Keith snorted at that. “So what? You’re gonna be like my parental supervision or something?” he asked, giving Shiro a half-cocked smile.

Shiro laughed and shook his head. “No, I’m not gonna be your ‘parental supervision,’ don’t be ridiculous,” Shiro said. He paused and scratched his chin, almost as if he was reconsidering. “But then again… Pidge did call me ‘dad’ the other day…” He trailed off before shaking his head again. “Nope, not a parent. Forget I considered that. I’m just gonna be the one who makes sure you don’t get into a fist fight with some alien and get yourself killed.”

Keith actually chuckled at that, and Shiro beamed. 

“Normally I’d deny that I’d ever do anything like that—but then again, I did fight nearly every member of the Blade of Marmora,” Keith admitted, glancing again to the knife resting beside him. 

“Yeah, you kinda did,” Shiro agreed with a good-natured grin. They were both quiet for a moment, the silence resting easily between them, before he spoke again. “But also, I want you to keep in mind that your heritage doesn’t define you as a person. I know you think that you need to know your history to know who you are, but it’s your actions that make you the person you are, not your blood.”

Keith pondered that for a moment, biting his lip as he wrung his hands in absence of fiddling with the knife. 

“…Thank you, Shiro. That means a lot,” he said, the weight on his chest lifting ever-so-slightly. “I just… I never expected to be part Galra, of all things. It just kinda made me realize how little I actually know about my parents,” he said, his hair falling into his face as he lowered his head. 

“Your father never told you about your mother?” Shiro asked, furrowing his brows. 

“He… he did. But never anything specific. He told me she was brave, and that I got my anger issues from her.”—Shiro snickered softly at that—“And I used to think she was dead, when he’d tell me that she lived in the night sky. But now… I don’t know,” Keith finished, keeping his gaze fixed on the floor.

“That’s it? That’s all you ever heard?” Shiro pushed. 

“Pretty much. He didn’t like to talk about her a lot, so I didn’t push it. I probably would’ve asked more when I was older but… well, you know.”

Shiro nodded. “Yeah, I get it,” he said, squeezing Keith’s shoulder. “I’m sorry that this is how you had to find out—believe me when I say I wish you could’ve heard this from your parents themselves. Trust me, though, once we deal with the Empire like I said, we’re going to find out everything we can about your family.” His voice softened. “But no matter what, you’re still Keith. You’re a member of this team, and we all care about you very much.”

Keith had to resist rolling his eyes at that, his mind immediately flashing back to Allura’s icy demeanor toward him after she heard the news, but Shiro carried on. 

“You’re not alone in this, Keith. We’re all here for you.”

Keith wanted to make a comment about how cheesy that sounded, despite the way it lifted the weight off his chest even more, but instead his brain kept nagging on one thought. “I’m not so sure that Allura would agree with you on that,” he said quietly, picking at a hangnail on his thumb.

Shiro sighed and took his hand off of Keith’s shoulder. “We all know the Princess has been through a lot of stuff, mainly because of the Galra. I’m not saying her reaction to this is okay, but it certainly isn’t surprising,” Shiro said, obviously referring to her reaction to trusting any of the Blade in the first place. “You just need to give her time to process, Keith. It may not seem like it, but she’s probably really conflicted right now.”

Keith sighed, then nodded. “Yeah, I know, Shiro.”

Shiro grinned and clapped his shoulder before standing up from the bed. 

“Don’t worry, Keith. She’ll come around eventually,” he said. “I’m gonna head off to bed now, but don’t forget that you have people that love and care for you, alright?”

Keith nodded, more of the weight melting away like snow in the sun. Shiro smiled one more time, then stepped out of the door, leaving Keith to himself. 

Keith knew Shiro was right. Allura would come around eventually, but it still sucked in the meantime. 

Otherwise, Keith felt at least a little bit better about this situation as a whole. He still didn’t have any of the answers he was looking for, but now he had a plan. He was going to find out about his family, and he wasn’t going to be alone. Shiro was going to help him find out who he was. 

No, not who he was. Keith knew who he was. He was still a mystery, even to himself, but it wasn’t his heritage that made him the person he was today. No, it was his actions that defined him as a person. Just like Shiro said. 

Keith looked one more time to the knife beside him, eyeing his reflection in the dark, gleaming surface. He picked it up gingerly, as if it might break, the metal cool against his fingers. 

Then he lifted his pillow and hid the knife underneath, as he had done so many other times before. Now that he knew what it meant, what it symbolized, it felt so much more sacred. Within the blade could potentially be the answers Keith has so desperately been searching for. 

He was going to find out about his past. But for now, he had a job to do. When he was done he could go looking for what he wanted to know; for now he had to be content with what knowledge he had. 

He was Keith Kogane: part human, part galra, and a paladin of Voltron. 

And for now, that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title comes from the song: 'Jupiter' by Sleeping at Last
> 
> My tumblr: zarkondoms.tumblr.com


	3. I couldn't help but ask for you to say it all again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place in s3, after the episode 'Changing of the Guard'

Keith was the new leader of Voltron. 

The thought kept bouncing around in his head, echoing off the walls of his skull, repeating over and over again. The fact was inescapable, no matter how much he didn’t want it to be true. Shiro was gone, and he wasn’t coming back. 

And so Keith had to take his place. 

No, he couldn’t think like that. This was only temporary, just until Shiro came back. Shiro had to come back. Keith was just taking his place for a little bit, so they could form Voltron. 

Even though he didn’t say these thoughts out loud, it was clear as day that he was lying to himself. 

Keith sighed and leaned back against the cool metal wall, his gaze drifting out the window to the stars beyond. He’d once been entranced by the night sky, spent endless evenings in the desert staring into it, wondering what mysteries those burning stars held in the darkness between them. Later on, he wondered if his only friend resided somewhere within that darkness.

Oh, how history liked to repeat itself. 

And now? He _knew_. He knew that there were countless civilizations all around them, that there was good and evil and everything in between within the night sky. He knew that humans were barely a speck among the thousands of aliens they shared a universe with. And he also knew that Shiro was out there somewhere, lost among the stars and stardust. 

Keith wasn’t ready to accept that, but he had to. For the sake of their team. He had to do what Shiro said, and step up to become the leader Voltron needed. But there was still the question, _why him?_ Why did the Black Lion choose him when he made it clear he didn’t want to lead? 

It wasn’t like the Black Lion was low on options when it came to potential paladins. If anyone, Allura was the most suited out of any of them to be the leader. She already acted as their commanding officer most of the time, directing where the Castle would go and what their course of action would be. Keith figured making her pilot of the Black Lion would just be putting a title to the position. 

Or if the Black Lion didn’t want Allura, why didn’t it choose someone else who actually wanted the job? Like Lance. Lance, despite all his goofiness and silly antics, could potentially be a powerful leader. Keith remembered when they were on Balmera, and Lance had stopped him from rushing in and instead formulated a perfect plan to sneak in on the fly. Sure, he had to tone down on the joking at times and learn to be more serious, but Keith knew he could be a good leader. 

Just… why did the Black Lion want _him?_ Why did Shiro choose him? He was impulsive, had a temper, and, to reiterate, _didn’t want to lead Voltron_. 

Keith had all these questions, all these ‘why’s’ and ‘how’s’ swirling about his head and clouding up his thoughts, but he knew they wouldn’t be answered anytime soon. 

Instead, he resigned himself to staring at the stars, alone with his thoughts. 

Time passed. Keith wasn’t sure how much; he wasn’t keeping track. He had already tried sleeping—it didn’t work. Now he just had to wait out the night and hope he wasn’t too dead in the morning. 

Eventually, though, he heard the soft patter of footsteps behind him, and he turned around to see Lance stepping through the door to the main deck. Lance’s eyes widened slightly when he saw Keith sitting there, but he didn’t hesitate to walk over and sit down beside him. 

“Couldn’t sleep, huh?” Lance asked.

Keith just sighed and nodded. “Yeah, what about you?”

Lance waved a hand carelessly. “Woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep, so I figured some time stargazing would help me get tired again. Didn’t expect you to be up here, though.”

Keith shrugged, unsure how to respond. “I come here when I can’t sleep,” he offered, leaning further into the metal wall.

Lance glanced at him in surprise. “Huh, me too. I mean, sometimes I go to the rec room to watch movies, and sometimes I go to the kitchen for some food goo, but a lot of times I come here,” he said. “I’m surprised we haven’t run into each other before.”

Keith just shrugged again. “I dunno, guess we just keep missing each other.”

Lance nodded at that, but didn’t offer a response. Keith didn’t add any more, content to continue his ponderings in silence. If Lance wanted to stay, sure, he could stay. If he wanted to leave, Keith didn’t mind that, either. He had too many other things to worry about right now, too many unanswered questions to care what his teammate did. 

Keith expected Lance to get bored, but to his surprise, he didn’t. Neither of them said anything for what had to have been at least fifteen minutes, each keeping his gaze fixed on the galaxies beyond the walls of their ship, small pinpricks of light dotting the inky darkness. 

Eventually though, Lance broke the quiet.

“Does the reason you can’t sleep have to do with this whole ‘leader thing’ that went down today?” he asked, glancing away from the stars to look at Keith.

Keith was silent for a moment, debating whether he should answer Lance truthfully or not. Did he really want to get into a whole conversation about his issues with leading right now? 

He settled for partial-truth. 

“Maybe? I don’t know, I just can’t sleep,” Keith tried.

Lance gave him a doubtful look. “Are you sure? Because if I were you, I’d be stressed as hell about being the new leader. I wouldn’t blame you if that’s what’s keeping you up.”

Keith glanced over at Lance, who had returned to staring out the window, seemingly not paying him any attention. Keith knew Lance was offering him an in, a way to talk about his worries without judgement. 

Hell, why not?

“Yeah, it is,” he admitted, glancing at the ground. “I just… I don’t get why the Black Lion—why _Shiro_ chose me to lead Voltron. I don’t want to be the leader. That’s not something I ever wanted. Allura should lead, not me. She’d actually want to do it.” He paused, keeping his gaze trained on the ground as he scratched the back of his neck. 

“I just want to know why,” he added after a few moments.

Lance didn’t respond immediately, tapping his chin while Keith waited for a response. 

Finally, he spoke. “Look, Keith, we’re in a pretty fucking weird situation out here. We’re literally fighting an alien war with flying sentient robot lions _in space_. If you wanna know why one of our magical robot kitties did this or that, it ain’t gonna happen. But we _do_ know that the lions have good reasons for choosing their paladins, and like I said earlier today, the Black Lion chose you—and I trust the lion’s decisions.”

Keith was no longer looking at the ground, instead staring at Lance with a mixture of surprise and confusion. He was going to respond, but Lance began talking again before he could. 

“Shiro trusted you, Keith. And like the lions, I trust Shiro. For some reason we may never know for sure, the Black Lion and Shiro both chose you to lead Voltron. Although I may have been a bit… resistant to the idea at first, I think I’m beginning to understand what they were getting at,” Lance said, a casual smile spread across his face. “I think what the two of them saw in you is potential, Keith. You have the potential to be a great leader, and they recognized that. Again, we don’t know for sure, but that’s what I think.” 

Keith was quiet for a moment.

He hadn't expected this. Sure, he knew enough to know Lance didn't hate him like he pretended to, but he never expected Lance to think he had the potential to be a great leader. Maybe he was right. Maybe that was why Shiro and Black chose him. Lance was right in that they'd probably never know for sure, but his theory was enough to make Keith feel a bit better about this whole leader situation.

“Thank you, Lance,” Keith said, straightening up from his slouch against the wall. “That… helps a lot, actually.”

Lance flashed him a cocky grin, stretching his arms out before grunting as he got to his feet. “No problemo, Mullet. Just saying what I think.” He cracked his neck and yawned, then turned toward the exit to the rest of the ship. “I’m getting pretty tired now, so I think I'm gonna head back to bed. Don't stay up all night—I don't think Black would be too happy if you fell asleep at the controls tomorrow.”

Keith snorted at that. “Yeah, I don't think so, either,” he said, giving Lance a small but grateful smile. 

“G’night, Keith,” Lance said as he walked out of the main deck. 

“Night, Lance,” Keith called after him. Lance just waved without looking back, and within seconds Keith was alone again. 

His thoughts were more at peace now as he looked at the stars, the metal walls of the ship cool against his head. 

Keith was the new leader of Voltron. He'd been chosen by Shiro and by the Black Lion. He may never find out why, but he was the leader, at least for now. This didn’t change the fact that he didn’t want to lead, but he didn’t really have a choice in the matter—so he might as well make the best of it. 

He wasn't accepting Shiro’s absence. They were going to find him; Keith would make sure of that. But for now, he could be the temporary leader. He could live with that. 

At some point in the night, Keith found his eyelids drooping, and let his mind carry him into the vast darkness of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title taken from the song: 'Saturn' by Sleeping at Last
> 
> My tumblr: zarkondoms.tumblr.com


End file.
